Wednesday, February 01, 2006

I am on the horns of a dilemma. I no longer believe that there is actually a God out there. The bible is a book of mythology that has had great impact on our culture, it certainly is not divine. Given all this I still consider myself a Christian. I sometimes wonder why.

It's not that I have any residual belief about the supernatural, I don't. I also am not in any doubt about where I stand on theology. Being a Christian has always been how I have defined myself, thought about myself and related to the world. It seems like too big a step just to call myself an atheist.

Perhaps deep down I still feel some attachment to the ideas of the faith and a slim hope like many others that somehow that will be enough. At times the dissonance I feel is extreme almost to the point of anguish. At other times though it does not seem to matter at all.

I had thought I was nearing the end of a spiritual journey, getting closer to some sort of closure. Maybe that's not the case??

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